Marriage

I heard the other day someone saying that went something like this.... "marriage is like doing a Ph.D. about relationship with your spouse as the study subject". That did really resonate quite intensely with me. In spite of the breadth and length of the "study" you will never still completely understand the subject you are studying. That's the irony. But the good news is, there will be no subject you can master.

Anyway, what will anyone end up finding new or a lesson that will be learnt in the "Ph.D." called marriage? Well, for one and perhaps the biggest one, "Compromise". Put in another way, its the answer to know where your boundaries with regard to your spouse are. I have always found that this is a moving target most marriages are searching constantly. But they get disguised with things such as ego, fear, anger, complexes, chauvinism, etc. If one can master the lesson quickly, better the success rate of marriages. If its slower, it can lead to many aspects of family deficiency, and in serious cases can even lead to break-downs and crimes.

The formula to put compromise into action is the four letter word that the Bible is all about.....LOVE. It can be hard sometimes if its just stemming out of the temporary burst of infatuation, but luckily, real love can be learnt by practice.

Identity

What is your identity? Who do you want yourself to be identified with or by or what? Generally the forces of society makes you identify with one or the other although you may not genuinely agree with everything that the culture or person stands for. But that's what life is all about and as a result culture and society constantly evolve.

The other day I had an earful from our very gifted and pragmatic pastor Rich Nathan about a Christian's identity. I have always thought by separating people by their country and origins you weaken humanity as a whole but seemingly strengthen an identified intended group. More stronger the division, more negativity of comparisons, maddening race to supremacy, resentment, disagreement, hate, etc. grow. There is still no one who has shown or written how this problem can be addressed. I dabble with the idea of global citizenship which many have spoken about but does not appear to have traction as it does not address issues of patriotism, treason, loyalty, backstabbing, and so on. In this context, the pastor's thoughts were quite nice to think about. He talked about primary identity being one that hinges on the fundamental nature of us being God's children. One of the benefits to that to the mostly distraught human beings that we have known to be is to be hope-filled in a depressing world.

Success and Failure

Ask God for strength of faith every time you pray. Strength comes only from God. Praise and glorify Him for your every success. Say, if you are given credit by people for something you did, you need to tell them that it was not you, but God through you was the reason for your success. Its hard but  admitting the power within you, which is God. You may realize this when it produces a good steady state or sometimes a catapulting powerful effect on your being and your future successes.

For failures, when it happens, be thoughtful of the Biblical person Job. He never gives up praying. Pray and keep on praying, even if it takes several decades, because God answers, even if it is something you become unable to pray for. Failure can lead to making you work harder towards what has been elusive. Setback is a set-up for a come back.  There is nothing sweeter than when your hard work mixed with perseverence, got from the strength of prayer, produces success and success beyond measure.

Coal or Him

When Jesus walked this planet, there was no electricity. People still used fuel. Wood to cook food perhaps. Oil to light up their houses and other places. Coal which is a popular and the most used fuel in the modern world for producing electricity was available then but people were ignorant of its existence or knew nothing of its practical uses or both. I wonder why Jesus, whose Father created this Earth, and by that token Jesus would have known about the existence of this black mineral in Earth, did not tell the people then about this mineral and its possible potential of how it could possibly transform their lives, as it has in modern times. Don't you think Jesus should have let His people know?

Well, there are probably more reasons than I can think of as to why Jesus would not have attempted to do let His people know. First, He was not here in Earth to let people know what was in the Earth, but to tell people what was in Heaven. Second, things in Earth are for people to see, discover and use. But telling of things of Heaven, which people cannot see made more sense. People, generally, by nature would not believe anything they cannot see, even if it was told by the Son of God whose Father created it all. Moreover, his emphasis on the Heaven than Earth can be best summarized when he said, that things of the Earth will pass away, but His word by which God himself would not.

Isn't what will not pass away more precious than the black mineral we rely on for our lifestyle today? By the way there are more people in this world who don't have proper power supply than those who do. The irony is, there are probably more treasures that we may still discover in this world, and many more we may never be able to discover and tap into, but I am glad that I have what I can claim to never pass away. What about you?

Book review "God and Evolution" edited by Jay Richards

A recently published book edited by a renowned author Jay Richards and contributed by more than four eminent authors titled "God and Evolution" looks at the angle of evolution through the eyes of Catholics, Protestants, Jews and Muslims. This is a very interesting and thought provoking book to say the least. Its a must read for every church going Christian and also for the pastors and priests who preaches to them.

Jay Richards is a very intelligent and articulate communicator, and the book will be a very interesting read for anyone interested on the idea of "marrying" evolution and creation.

All saints die!

Saints! What a word man has created and how nicely it has become to be a word of value when attributed to a finite human being. Who is a saint? A person without corruption. In today's world do we not see innumerable self proclaiming saints? Are they really saints? They apparently are - for some...in fact for many hapless people.

Saints are revered in countries like India because people find an answer to a problem they face through their teaching or a certain religious practice which focuses one's mind. Thereafter they just follow the saints blindly. Saints also heal people of diseases, protect from accidents, etc. at least so they say. But here is the thing.....why can't saints heal themselves or prevent themselves from harm? This tells that saints are just humans as we are and all humans die, so do saints. Saints are just as infallible like humans be it Sai Baba from Puttaparthi or Mother Teresa from Calcutta. Hope this truth percolates deep into the human understanding.

One more thing, Easter is the day Christian believers celebrate Jesus Christ's resurrection from the death. That is the same day a "saint" (in Sai Baba) died  and to me it tells a powerful narrative. Worship worthy God rose from the dead, and "Saints" die....sometimes on the same day! 

Reliability and Independence

Its been a while! Not that I have not had thoughts or ideas that I wanted to share. But just wasn't able to blog due to a handful of other things that demanded more of my focus and attention. But that's in the past now.

This one is a simple thought. Does our trust in God create a sense of dependence or independence?

Normally when we trust someone or something, we expect in all probability that, that person or thing will deliver what is expected of it. Let me give an example, if I take my well maintained car for a long drive, I start out with a trust that my car will be reliable enough to complete the demanding  trip without breaking down on the way. It gives me a sense of independence and lets me think about other activities I may plan during the trip. That is independence to me due to my car's reliability. Should God's reliability give me independence? OR more dependence on HIM?

I can see a smile on your face on reading this tricky question. Abundance of money affords a great flexibility and independence in life and no question about that. Most of us well realize money is just a means to the end and not an end in itself. What is the true end then? Worldly "stuff"? or stuff that puts your focus always on God? Love and peace cannot be bought with any amount of $$$$, fortunately. There is only one source for these valuable possessions in this difficult world. A source which is unending and everlasting. That to me makes me so dependent on God and not independent of God. So, trust in God makes me more dependent on HIM because of his RELIABILITY. What do you think?

Another Poem by this amazing boy Mattie

Future Reminiscing


It is good

To have a past

That is pleasant

To reflect upon.

Take care

To create

Such a gift

For your future.



December 25, 2000

© Matthew Joseph Thaddeus Stepanek

http://www.mattieonline.com/about.htm

This poem is by a 10 year old kid, who died because of a rare genetic form of muscular dystropy, is inspiring!

We need to stop.


Just stop.

Stop for a moment.

Before anybody

Says or does anything

That may hurt anyone else.

We need to be silent.

Just silent.

Silent for a moment.

Before we forever lose

The blessing of songs

That grow in our hearts.

We need to notice.

Just notice.

Notice for a moment.

Before the future slips away

Into ashes and dust of humility.

Stop, be silent, and notice.

In so many ways, we are the same.

Our differences are unique treasures.

We have, we are, a mosaic of gifts

To nurture, to offer, to accept.

We need to be.

Just be.

Be for a moment.

Kind and gentle, innocent and trusting,

Like children and lambs,

Never judging or vengeful

Like the judging and vengeful.

And now, let us pray,

Differently, yet together,

Before there is no earth, no life,

No chance for peace.



September 11, 2001

© Matthew Joseph Thaddeus Stepanek


P.S.
I am reading more about this truly amazing boy Mattie; I heard one of his recorded interviews today on the radio and was truly moved. Hope it does for you too.

Time for a riddle!

Not a word is spoken, but everyone understands,
No one hears, but they communicate...
What can it be?

Answer: TJHO MBOHVBHF
(Clue: Put together one letter preceding each letter in the answer for the right answer.)

Is there an Adam and Eve in your family?

Normally indulgence is self driven. But sometimes its driven by others. Especially in a family, if its another person who lead you to indulge, it is the spouse. When we fall in a trap - sin trap, there is always a reason or a person behind it. It may not be even true but we easily find a scapegoat. Rarely we own or take responsibility. If its true that the spouse was the reason the actual blame should go to the person who acted on the motivation to indulge. This is what I like to call the 'Adam and Eve syndrome'. Is there a Adam and Eve syndrome in your family? 

Snowball of what kind

Almost everyone who has lived in the Northern hemisphere knows how a snowball becomes bigger if it rolls down a snowy hill or slope. Its a commonly used analogy in many life's situations - 'the snowball effect'. A snowball that begins to roll down becomes bigger and bigger every inch it rolls down. Longer the distance, bigger the snowball!

In life we have two powerful forces that if pursued behaves exactly the same way a snowball behaves. One is Sin and the other is Faith. Both start small. The longer you let it roll in you, the bigger it gets on you. There will be a time when it gets full blown, what you got rolling gets too big that you (the seed) from which it got started, gets you completely covered and it takes you around for the trip of your death or life of which you have very little control until you finally hit something. I hope the thing (death) we hit upon is not one which destroys us but wakes us up in the presence of our God. Faith leads you to that place. Its paramount to watch what kind of a snowball we choose to be.

Dreams - Effects and Affects

Everyone dreams at least a few times a month, if not more. 'Dreaming' crosses all boundaries among humankind. All genders, age, rich, poor, religious, non-religious, healthy, sick, etc., no exceptions. Yet, very little is known, leave alone understood about the cause and origins of our dreams. I honestly don't understand why this area of our human mind is not well researched into. One possible reason is this grey area criss-crosses several sciences and possibly arts too - Neuroscience, Anatomy/Physiology, and Mind-Body relationship. Dreams cannot be encompassed into any narrow field for it to be studied or understood!

One very novel observation that I have not come across anywhere in the literature world so far is this. This comes from my own experience. My wife and I have noticed that on the days we dream, we dream together and on the days we don't dream, we both don't dream. Next, we all know that we get both good and bad dreams although people don't have a clear percentage of how much of their dreams are either good or bad. It certainly varies with people. But to me this is clear, we found out when one of us dreams a good dream the other person in the same bedroom also dreams a good one. So also with the bad ones. You may think it may have a bias. But listen to this, when we added more people to the bedroom (which we do when our son comes to our room to sleep in on some nights!) we noticed this phenomenon extends to the person/s in the bedroom that night. That is to say, if its a good dream, all the persons in the room dream that way and if  'tis a bad one, everyone has some sort of a bad dream. This is strange, it has happened to us all the time.

I strongly feel this is a not just a human-mind thing. This has got to do with something in the air, in the immediate environment! I suspect it is of the spiritual realm and it may very well have something to do with Godly spirit or the Holy Spirit Or the evil spirit. Wonder what the dream scientists have to say.